hv

Carousel


Upon arrival
I approached the carousel,
to gather all of my baggage,
to sort through all of my thoughts.

Upon arrival,
I approached the carousel,
to take in the lights that make my head spin,
to ride around and be young again.

Up and down,
round and round,
on this world slowing to a crawl.

Up and down,
round and round,
all to end up nowhere at all.
hv

Skin


Under a black starry night, I felt you move for the first time.
In sublime sketches, I found your life under my hands.
I took your scent in and held my breath, frantically,
like a drowning man --
skin.

I heard the notes beneath you and hollowed myself out
so that I may remember it all.
And all of it came together to help me learn about
that which had evaded my knowledge --
skin.

But understand this:
yours is not the one that spurred on a thousand ships,
nor is yours the one that inspired a thousand words.
Yours is the type that men travel down streets and cross others to grasp.
Yours is the tawdry feeling
admonishing fingertips after they've finished.
Yours is the guilty touch that has forever stained
my one and only skin.
hv

Yours for a While


"'Forever yours'? Fuck that. I don't believe in that."

"What?" she stammered in wide-eyed surprise.

"You heard me. Who are you to promise with the intention of forever? Do you even have any idea what forever is?"

"Well, I --"

"No, you don't. Otherwise you wouldn't have promised such a stupid thing. Forever is a lot longer than just a long time. Can you even see us together in fifty years, when I'm looking more like a raisin than a human? I can't even imagine myself that old, let alone me with someone else. And you want to talk about forever?

"That's when we're dead and buried, food for worms -- dust to dust, goddammit. Not just old, but gone. And you can promise me that? Don't make me laugh.

"People change. You think I'll be the same in infinity years' time? Hell no. I'm changing everyday. People fall out of love. People stop liking each other."

"I think I'm starting to dislike you already."

"Yeah. Exactly. So don't talk to me about forever," he said, crumpling up the letter.
hv

Sleet

“And now that I found it, it’s gone;
And now that I fought it, it’s won.”


Seeking the sky for a light that I could grasp,
finally understood the reason after all.
Sweeping the night that I could not escape,
the world made sense all over again:

Tomorrow’s such a broken promise now,
wading through the sleet and the time.
All I know is I’m certain my heart isn’t here,
with the mother who gave me life and the father who calls me child;
so I sleep through the days to face midnight alone,
waking up dizzy and meandering through the streets again.

All the thoughts that were supposed to last are gone,
along with the words that disappeared into smoke.
For a moment I think I can hear them in my heart again,
but I know for certain that my heart isn’t here,
anymore.
hv

Hold on to You (So Dearly)


How I wish I wasn’t addicted to the fire,
just cause I like to watch the smoke clear;
like staring deeply into everybody’s eyes,
just in case they possess the answer.

And I will hold on to you,
I will hold on to you, dearly.
Wondering if it was really you that night,
unlocking the darkness with your light.

I will hold on to you, now
I will hold on to you, dearly.
I don’t know where you are tonight, but
I will hold on to you so dearly.

Watching the world pass in slow motion,
wondering if my reflection still lives in this place;
like the children circling the two-way mirror,
with no idea what they’re looking for.

But I will hold on to you,
I will hold on to you dearly.
The bottom of this bottle is my telescope and
I will find you between the stars tonight.

I will hold on to you now,
I will hold on to you, dearly.
I don’t know where you are tonight, but
I will hold on to you so dearly.

Like the world turning with no direction,
night becomes day with no anticipation.
Just when you thought I was gone forever,
I’ve come back to hold on to you.

And I will hold on to you so dearly,
I will hold on to you, now.
Just when you thought I was gone forever,
I’ve come back to hold on to you.
hv

Fresh Ashes


Yesterday I opened my eyes,
today I traced the skies.
With one finger to the clouds
and the entire world in my hands,
I found truth in blue ruin.
My feet touched the sand,
and in my ears, an orchestral ocean
played the notes of each grain.

I followed the gull across the everlasting
and found the point where the sky met the earth,
where the best met the worst,
where happiness bloomed
from the remains of yesterday’s fire.
hv

On the beach, in the rain


On the beach, when it rained,
I thought of us, and all the pain:
With dead words written in the sand,
washed away by watery hands;
like the past and new starts,
both held in our secret hearts;
like the thoughts of you and I,
and of verbal suicide;
like the words remaining intact,
the realisation of all the facts.
hv

The In-Between Years


He stands at the bus stop, forever
delayed from life by life, every
moment slipping away from him with
every beat of his heart. He longs
to throw his briefcase into the street
and send all the important but unimportant
papers fluttering into the wind -- set
them free, cause they probably longed
for it as much as he, watch them
scatter across windshields so he could
watch the cars crash one by one
and be thanked by the faceless drivers who
no longer had to endure another day
in a place they didn't want to be;
just like him, they want to be free,
just like him they want to find
a new design for living,
a new design for life.
hv

Ageing


Bright eyes have grown dim to this world,
smiles are cynically hung upon chapped lips.
The light dies before reaching this vessel,
leaving fingers cold to the tips.

I hear the song that I’ve never heard before,
and I want to write something even briefly luminescent;
like fireworks reflected in your eyes,
something even momentarily beautiful.
But the words disappear
like smoke from my hands
and I am left with a cancerous nowhere.

Bright eyes have grown dim to this world,
smiles are cynically hung upon chapped lips.
The light dies before reaching this vessel,
leaving fingers cold to the tips.

I hear the song that I’ve heard once before,
and already it has lost its luminescence;
like the breath left by your tired lungs,
it was only momentarily tangible.
Transitory thoughts flash before me
but the words have all disappeared,
and I am left with blanks between revelations
and bright eyes that have grown dim to this world,
smiles hung cynically upon chapped lips.
The light dies before reaching this vessel,
leaving fingers cold to the tips.

Bright lights have grown dim in this world,
the sailors have cut their hopes free.
The lies die before reaching this vessel,
leaving the fighter lost at sea.